What I’ve Learned: Intimacy Tips from a Phone Sex Dom

A Q&A with TG Emmerson

Emmerson’s thoughts were doggie style was the height of kink when she plunged into the world ofj_nibblr no-taboo and taboo phone sex. Her small-town upbringing couldn’t prepare her for the twisted fantasies she soon found herself playing out. Other experiences as an operator taught her plenty of lessons about secret desires and the things that go unsaid in a relationship.
Q: You did thousands of phone sex calls during your career. What was your typical client?
I’d say 80 percent of my regular clients were either married or in a committed relationship.They’d pop into the chat room where I set up sessions and say they’d call once their wife left the house.
Q: Married callers? That’s scandalous! What was one predominant theme you took away from those calls?
People say that sex is an act of love, and that’s true to some extent, but it is also something that should be fun in the relationship. I think too often, guys have fantasies they don’t feel safe expressing to their spouses or partners. They’re worried about being judged if they divulge their darker urges, but those urges need to be expressed.
That’s why they call phone sex operators — they need a safe place to talk about their fantasies. If guys didn’t have an obsessive need for change in the bedroom, I wouldn’t get any calls.
Q: So no judgment?
I think it’s important to create an environment of trust. A quality relationship is one where partners can share their secrets without fear of judgment.
I talked to people all the time who would get in trouble if their wives even caught them so much as watching porn, which I find so sad. It’s important to keep in mind that most men want to remain faithful to their wives, and if they want to add porn or roleplay into the mix, that’s fine. They are still ultimately having sex with you. And more times than not are fantasizing about you while they watch porn or want a roleplay. NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!
Q: So … porn is in?
If you walk in and find your partner watching porn, don’t judge. Join in! Help out. It will heighten the experience for both of you.

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Q:So how would monogamous couples add spice back into their relationships?
The first step is to look for opportunities to add spontaneity in the bedroom. Start simple. Don’t push it to a point where you’re questioning yourself, but it’s important to own someone’s mind as well as their body.
For wives, I suggest sending text messages saying things like, “I’m going to own you tomorrow.” or even something as simplistic as “I want you bad!”
If you’re giving him a blowjob, maybe throw a blindfold on him. Once you take away his ability to see, his other senses will be heightened, and he’ll love it.
But have fun. He’s your husband or your partner! Why not tie a pair of panties around his balls before you send him off to work for the day?

Ultimately what I have learned is don’t take intimacy seriously. Let’s not get it twisted; it can be intimidating, but this is why communication is important for both involved. Kink is not a bad thing, and yet that is where a lot of people get scared. It should be passionate and fun at the same time.

TG

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