Disclaimer: This isn’t phone sex, just simple advice!
As a phone sex operator, I learned what fantasies tend to get men going. Though I took calls with men wanting all kinds of interesting scenarios, a few popular themes emerged, from seducing the babysitter to succumbing to the flirtatious next door neighbor.
But there was one theme that stuck out to me the most, possibly because it was one I found more sad than fun. I had a lot of married guys calling and asking for me to treat them like I would if I was a new girlfriend.
That’s right — they were paying money for me not to seduce them, but to merely act like I liked them.
There’s a part of me that thinks it’s ironic to have married men paying to act like they’re in a relationship. But there’s another part of me that totally gets it. It’s no secret that after men and women have been married long enough, they can be at risk of taking each other for granted. Maybe they get a little emotionally lazy, or their priorities change.
I used to have this one caller. We’ll call him Stan. The first time he called, I asked what he wanted, and he told me he wanted me to talk to him like we’d just met. The poor guy needed someone to seem interested in him again. Flirt with him a little bit.
He and his wife had been married fifteen years, and when the magic started to fade, he said he tried to spice things back up again until his wife flat-out told him he wasn’t worth the extra effort.
The only thing they were going to do was die together.
People need validation. They need to feel wanted. Just remember what it felt like when you first fell in love, when you had someone who thought you were funny and pretty and valid and important. Think about how that made you feel. Now see what you can do to recapture it.
I do have one suggestion, as crazy as it may sound: Add more rage sex to your relationship.
Yeah, that’s right. Rage sex.
Don’t argue. Don’t hold grudges. Have sex. Have angry, rough, violent sex. Take all that frustration out physically. It will help your relationship mentally, I promise.
For example, let’s say hubby calls you because you’re running late. He sounds pissed because he needs your help around the house. But you’re out at the PTA meeting. It’s not like you’re killing time.
He’s cranky. You’re pissed. The temptation is to yell and vent. But don’t do that.
Do this: say, “Suck it up!”
Say, “Make it work.”
Say, “I’m at the fucking PTA meeting.”
And hang up.
And you’ve initiated a rough form of foreplay.
Once you hang up, follow up with a quick text saying something like, “I’m going to get you so hard when I get home.”
Then let the passionate hate fuck commence.
You’ll both feel better afterward.
Trust me, no relationship is perfect, but it can be better than it is. If you look hard enough at your spouse, you will find the person you met so many years ago. The one who flirted with you and made you feel so important.
Marriage is hard work, sure, but find your kinks again. Women, throw on a bit of mascara and get those “fuck me” eyes.
Men, you don’t need much coaxing, but just RAVAGE her!
Bust the headboard.
Bust the box spring (trust me, it can be done).
And you will have so much fun.